Parenting Styles Part 5:

Over the past couple of days we have discussed the negative parenting styles and I wanted to end on the good parenting style, the Authoritative parent. This type of parent is both demanding and responsive. This style is also called the assertive democratic or balanced parenting. In this parenting style it is child-centered and holds high expectations of maturity. These type of parents understand their children and look for ways to help them with their problems. They support them emotionally and help them regulate their emotions. Parents with this style have clear rules and boundaries and consequences for those rules if broken. At the same time they allow verbal give and take. The rules are established together. These type of parents are not as controlling allowing their children to explore more freely. This allows the child to mature and learn to make their own decisions.

When giving out punishments the child knows why they are being punished and what is expected. The child knows that they have broken the rule. Parents are attentive to the child's needs and instead of punishing will forgive and teach when a child falls short. This does not mean that they get away with things like we learned about the permissive parent.

Children coming from these homes generally have higher self esteems and independence. These children I do not generally work with and you don't generally see them getting into problems.

This does not mean that these children will turn out perfect they still may have many other situations that come up in their lives that will cause problems. It only means they have the support needed to get through life's challenges.

When looking at characters I think about 'Awesome' on the show Chuck. These are the characters that can make it through tough situations. In my book the MC had great parents and so when very tough things come up for him he is able to go back to his memories of his parents and make it through them. Characters will have an inner strength that gets them through dark times if they had parents with this parenting style.

So now that we know all about parenting styles how are you going to use it in your books?

Parenting Styles Part 4:

This next parenting style is the one I like to call the "yes" style. It is the style where the parent feels like saying no is a bad thing. It is called the Indulgent parenting style.

The indulgent parent is very responsive but not demanding. The extreme is the free-ranger parent, anything goes. This style is also known as permissive, non-directive or lenient.  The parent has few behavioral expectations for the child. These parents are nurturing and accepting of their children they are supportive and most people see them as great parents. The problem is that they do not require children to regulate themselves or behave appropriately. The child tends to end up being a spoiled brat or spoiled sweet depending on the behavior of the children.

So what happens to these kids. It seems like the perfect scenario and it seems that it is almost the trend lately. A recent study found that children with the indulgent parent have nearly triple the risk of participating in heavy drinking. Children with strict parents have double the chance of heavy drinking. So you see in this scenario it is better to be the Authoritarian rather then the indulgent. Children that have these types of parents tend to be more impulsive, and as adolescents may engage in more misconduct and drug use. These children have a hard time of learning to control their behavior and always expect to get their way. On the other hand these kids may turn out to have better emotional security, more independent, and mature quicker.

So what type of characters would we write about that have parents like this?

I plan on doing the fourth parenting style tomorrow so stop on by.

Parenting Styles Part 3:

The next parenting style we will look at is the Authoritarian parenting style. I have to admit that I feel I have to be most careful with this style. This does not mean I spend all my time here I just know that if I am not careful I can more easily slip into this style, especially when I am tired. This style probably fits best with the super ego thought process if we wanted to compare it to something Freud did. The reason I say this is because it is the idea that the law must be followed no matter what we must be strict. However it is even more intense than that if we go very far. 

The Authoritarian parent is demanding but not responsive. The extreme is totalitarian parenting, my way or the highway, no ifs, ands, or buts. The parent expects children to conform to their rules with little to no open dialogue between parent and child. The parent expects a lot out of their children but do not explain the reasoning for the rules and boundaries. This type of parent will spank their child rather than talk to them (we will discuss spanking some other day but just so you know there have been studies showing that spanking is effective and isn't as bad as we have made it out to be). 

The child will have less social competence because they are told how to act and respond. The child is not given room to make choices. An interesting thing about this style is that in some cultures kids have positive outcomes. An example is Asian culture. I would also think some religious cultures have the same effect. The problem though is that when a child is pushed to much there is a good chance that they will rebel, break down, or run.

So if we want a character that has bad social manners or who is overly submissive then we could use parents of this style to explain that to the reader. It would also be a good reason of why a character runs away from his family. These type of characters may be broken or they may be the complete opposite completely rebelling against any type of authority. These are our anarchist perhaps. Once again people who have gone through this type of parenting could be perfectly normal with little to no problems. They may have even had a good childhood. 

What are your thought? What type of character could you explain who comes from this parenting style?