My Blog Friends

Saturday, April 30, 2011

Summing Up Saturday Part 4

Welcome to all my new followers hope you find this blog informative and helpful in your quest to make the perfect character and to better understand your self. Don’t forget to sign up for the 100 Followers Celebration. Remember you must let me know you want to participate on the 100 Followers Celebration page.

Monkey Man said...
The more blogs you visit and comment on the more returns you get. Setting your sights high is a good thing Go for it and good luck with finals.
My Thoughts-This is an excellent point. I have found the more I do to support others the natural consequence is to get support back.

Josh - I'm fascinated by the profiles you offer and can definitely see how understanding each one would make for deeper, better character portrayals. I do believe an MC could be a narcissist as long as he/she possesses other stellar characteristics. It would be a balancing act, but would definitely make for a colorful protagonist.
 My Thoughts- The balancing act is so important when creating our characters. We need them to be authentic in the world we create.

Brian Miller said...
ok def nightmares on the of these books sound intriguing...for me the janitor one most def...janitors were always kinda mysterious...and the peppermint dust they used to clean the puke up...
My Thoughts- This one just made me laughJ

Emily said...
I think everyone we meet has a chance to inspire us, either through being such a good example of who we want to be when we "grow up" or as an example of what to avoid because we see the pain and misery in their lives. For me, my family is the largest group who have given me strength to overcome challenges. I've have been really lucky in that regard. There are also countless people who I have come in contact with either through the writing or religious communities that offer great support.
My Thoughts- I agree with this completely. We are influenced by everyone we come in contact with to some degree.  The opposite is also true we influence everyone we come in contact with to some degree, whether to become better people or worse.

Pam Torres said...
Whew! Do I feel psycho-analytical. I think it would be useful to have these schema descriptions on 3x5 cards and mix and match them when creating a character...mmm. Is it bad that I kept seeing my ex-husband in some of those...HeeHee...
My Thoughts- What a great tip on how to keep all the schemas organized and at our fingertips.

Lucy Adams said...
I know a woman who smiles no matter what she says. When she's being critical she smiles. When she's being complimentary, she smiles. When she talks about something that makes her angry or frustrates her, she smiles.

She's an incredibly difficult person to interact with, especially when her emotions are ambiguous. She makes it likely that the other person will always say the wrong thing.

Oh, did I mention she's easily insulted?

She would make a great character in a book.

My Thoughts- Pearls would go to town on this person. This is a great example of a person using their body language to try and cover up their true emotions.

Remember go here to sign up for the contest.

What was your favorite post of the week? 

Friday, April 29, 2011

Gestalt Theory

Gestalt theory is a fascinating theory to me. It was developed by Fritz Pearls, a German born Psychiatrist. The whole point of the theory is to get people to become more aware of the here and now and to take responsibility. It has some really amazing points to it that I completely agree with. The delivery is not my style though because of how confrontational it is.

One of the things that Fritz does or a Gestaltian does is make the client aware of their physical movements and actions. They do this by pointing things out to them like: “What are you doing with your leg” or “I see your eyes are starting to tear up.” The psychologist is doing this throughout the session. It is interesting and if you want to watch Fritz doing it you can go here. Fritz also talks more about the theory in the beginning.

Okay what does this have to do with characterization? First of all, this blog, if you have noticed isn’t all about characterizationJ (but that’s besides the point) The point is that we/our characters say one thing but mean another. For example in the clip Gloria is smiling while she is talking about sad things. Fritz points this out to her. We all do this and Fritz would call us phonies. So, when we are creating our characters in our books remember that their actions, their body language do not always match what they are saying or feeling.

Body language doesn’t lie even when our words may beJ

What are your thoughts on this? Do you think we can lie with our body language? Can we ever truly mask our thoughts and feelings? Also, can another person really be good enough to interpret our body language accurately, like on the show Lie To ME?

There are only a few days left for me to reach my goal of 100 followers in a month. I am planning a celebration one week after I reach my hundredth follower. At this time I’ll be giving away a $15 Amazon gift certificate. Go here to get the rules.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Schema’s and Traits Part 9

I am getting my information from “Schema Therapy a Practitioners Guide” by Jeffrey E. Young, Janet S. Klosko, and Marjorie E. Weishaar. The next domain is Over vigilance and Inhibition. This is our last domain with four Schemas. I decided we might as well knock them all out today. So, here we go.

The first one is Negativity/Pessimism. A person with this schema displays a lifelong focus on the negative while minimizing the positives. This schema can be learned by the parent or it is because of hardships as a child. The latter is harder to overcome because the person has experienced the loss and hardship first hand t an early age. The goal is to help people look at the future more objectively.

Emotional Inhibition is the second schema in this domain. People with this schema are excessively inhibited to express their emotions. They are affectively flat, no emotion and self-controlled rather than spontaneous. They not only hold back their anger but also their warmth. These people often have the obsessive compulsive personality disorder as well. These people are rigid and inflexible. The goal is to help them become more emotionally expressive.

A person with the Unrelenting Standards/Hypercriticalness schema present as perfectionistic and driven. They feel they must reach unrealistic high standards all the time. These standards are internalized therefore they do not change these expectations based on others expectations. They do it because they “should” not because they want anything from it. They feel a lot of pressure to achieve. Failing means 95%. It is not only difficult to have unrelenting standards but it is also difficult to be around someone who has unrelenting standards. These people are workaholics. The goal is to help people accomplish less and to do it not as perfectly.

The final schema is Punitiveness. People with this schema believe that people, including themselves, should be punished harshly for their mistakes. They are moralistic and intolerant, and have a difficult time with forgiving others and themselves of their mistakes. People should not be forgiven but should be punished, no excuses permitted. The goal is to overcome this belief of punitiveness and be more forgiving.

Well there you have it all of the schemas you would ever want to know about. Thanks for staying tuned in and for your wonderful comments throughout.  Which is your favorite schema? What have you learned about yourself, others and most importantly of course your characters? What schema have you incorporated into your stories? And how many of you were saying each day, “That’s me?” (BTW that is a natural phenomenon while going through a diagnostic course  to feel like you fit all of the diagnosisJ

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Schema’s and Traits Part 8

I am getting my information from “Schema Therapy a Practitioners Guide” by Jeffrey E. Young, Janet S. Klosko, and Marjorie E. Weishaar. Today we will be looking at a new domain called The Domain of Other-Directedness. There are three schemas in this domain: Subjugation, Self-Sacrifice, and Approval-Seeking/Recognition-Seeking.

Subjugation is where a person allows another person to dominate them. They surrender control because they fear either punishment or abandonment by the other person. There are two types, subjugation of emotions or subjugation of needs. In emotions they are suppressing their feelings such as anger. The person feels his own needs and feelings are not valid or important to other people. These people are excessively compliant and hypersensitive to feeling trapped. They feel bullied, harassed and powerless. There is a significant amount of fear with this schema. The goal is to help them see that they have rights to have their needs and feelings; they have the right to express them.

The Self-Sacrifice schema is similar to subjugation in the fact that a person is trying to meet the needs of others at the expense of their own needs. The difference is that this sacrifice is seen as voluntary.  They do it to prevent others from experiencing pain, to do what they feel is right, to avoid feelings of guilt or selfishness, or to maintain connection with others. They feel resentful often when they do not get something in return even though they don’t expect anything in return. Goal is to help them see that everyone has the right to get their needs met, including themselves.

The Approval-Seeking/Recognition-Seeking schema is when a person places an extreme emphasis on gaining approval or recognition. They are constantly focused on the reactions of others rather than their own reactions. Because of this they fail to develop a stable, inner-directed sense of self. There are two types: the one that wants everyone to like them and the second wants applause and admiration. The latter are frequently narcissistic. One person with this schema said I would rather look like I’m having a good life than actually having one. These people are people pleasers in order to get approval. They make us uncomfortable because they are so eager to please. The goal is to help them recognize the authentic self and that it is different than the false self.

I want to thank BlueStocking Mum for the Versatile Blogging award. It is such an honor to win this from someone who I think has such a wonderful blog. Thank you all for helping me through this exciting world of blogging it has been fun to get to know all of you and to learn and laugh with each one of you. Even though I may not comment on all of your blogs I do visit them each day to read your words of wisdom. They make me laugh and cry. They inspire me to be better to try harder. Thank you all for the changes you have made in my life.

Who has inspired you? Who has given you the strength to overcome your challenges?

Wow and look how close we are to reaching 100 followers!!!! 

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Books and Snails

Today I have a couple of promises to keep.

First, it is an amazing book by Daniel Coleman that I had the privilege of critiquing and now is available at Amazon in ebook format. Here is the back cover blurb.

“One, two! One, two! and through and through the vorpal blade went snicker-snack!”  Blood pounded in Tjaden’s ears as he breathed in the acrid odor, and his sword didn’t falter.  Not after the convoluted road that had led him to set out alone to find and slay the manxome Jabberwocky.  But the secrets he’d learned about the Jabberwocky’s sorrowful past made it a sour victory.
 How different would the situation be if the girl he loved wasn’t at risk?  Why didn’t Captain Darieus tell him the dark secrets surrounding the Tumtum tree? 

 Jabberwocky, a short novel by Daniel Coleman, is the untold story behind Lewis Carroll’s beloved poem.  Meet the characters and creatures that inhabit the world long before Alice ever fell down the rabbit’s hole.
 While staying true to every detail of Lewis Carroll’s masterpiece, Jabberwocky provides twists that will keep you turning pages.  You might know how it ends, but you won’t believe how it happens.

You can pick it up at

Smashwords -- for iPad, Nook, Kobo, etc.

Second is another book that is soon to be released on August 3rd by Ty Whiteside.

"Have you ever fallen asleep during math class? Do you get distracted easily while listening to your English teacher? Do you find yourself completely disinterested in geography? Well, it may not be your fault. The janitors at Welcher Elementary know a secret, and it's draining all the smarts out of the kids. Twelve-year-old Spencer Zumbro, with the help of Daisy "Gullible" Gates, must fight with and against a mysterious janitorial society with wizard-like powers. Who can be trusted - and how will Spencer and Daisy protect their school and possibly the world? Find out in JANITORS, the first book in a new children's fantasy series by debut novelist Tyler Whitesides. You'll never look at a mop the same way again. "

And finally “Rise of the Snails” a video that will give you nightmares (not really just trying to build tension) and keep you up all night (another tension builder). This is a video of my tank at feeding time. They may look slow but they will eat anything that hits the bottom of the tank.

Monday, April 25, 2011

Schema’s and Traits Part 7

I am getting my information from “Schema Therapy a Practitioners Guide” by Jeffrey E. Young, Janet S. Klosko, and Marjorie E. Weishaar. Today we will be looking at a new domain called the Impaired Limits. This domain includes the Entitlement/Grandiosity and Insufficient self-control/self discipline.

This is one that we have all recognized in a few people but maybe not to the extreme. In a nutshell these people feel special. They feel they are better than others, part of an elite and as such are entitled to special rights and privileges. They try to control others to meet their own needs, without empathy or concern for the others’ needs. They are excessively competitive, snobby, dominating of others, assert power in a harmful way, and force one’s point of view on others. There is a distinction between the narcissistic and the entitled. Narcissistic are trying to cover up an underlying feeling of defectiveness while entitled were spoiled as children and continue this behavior into adulthood. The goal is to help them understand the principle of reciprocity and accept it.

Insufficient Self-Control/Self-Discipline is characterized by people lacking two qualities: 1) self control –restraining one’s emotions and impulses and 2) self discipline – being able to tolerate boredom and frustration in order to accomplish a task or goal (like getting publishedJ They lack the ability to delay short term gratification to achieve long term goals. They do not learn sufficiently from experiences- from the negative consequences of their behaviors. In the milder forms they are people who avoid discomfort.  Typical behavior is: impulsivity, distractibility, disorganization, unwillingness to persist in boring tasks, intense expression of emotions, and habitual lateness or unreliability. The goal is to help people give up short term gratification for long term goals.

What kind of characters could we make up with these schemas? The narcissist seems easy for a villain. What about a narcissistic hero? Many of our politicians are narcissists, they almost have to be to overcome the constant battering and scrutiny of the public. What about insufficient self-control, how could a MC have this schema? What do you think?

Thanks again for all the support!! 

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Summing Up Saturday Part 3

First off, Wow to all the wonderful comments and new followers. I appreciate your support and encouraging words. When I first started blogging again 3 weeks ago I set the goal to have 100 followers by the end of the month. Thanks to all of you this is a possibility. I do plan on having a 100 follower party, so the sooner we get the sooner we can party. Plus next week is the last week of the semester so we can party for two thingsJ.

Some amazing comments have been made this week here are a just a handful of them and what I liked about them.

Tracy said...
Fascinating Josh!
thanks for sharing so much information...when I write, I write from the heart and don't know the identity of what it is I am doing but you hit the nail on the head; thanks so much!
What a wonderful way to write from the heart. This I think is an important message, as writers we can learn all the techniques and tips and tools but unless we write from the heart it will be meaningless.

Isn't the community of writers in our cyber-sphere kind and supportive?

The death of long-time pet changed me the most this week as I thought upon the life lessons her intelligence and taking with her in the future only the best of her nature. Have a great Sunday, Roland

It is a sad thing to hear of a loved one passing, but the message is still there of the importance of the time we have together and the lessons we learn from one another.

J.L. Campbell said...
Your post has me thinking that it's no wonder some of us end up in bad relationships. We go into them with our problems, seeking something the other person may either not be willing to give or on the other hand, may provide what we're looking for to excess.
This is a great insight into the problems we face in our relationships and the baggage that all of us carry around with us. To me this is the importance of not expecting ourselves to be perfect or others. It also is so important to have good coping skills and communication skills.

~Sia McKye~ said...
I do use my training as a counselor in building characters and having them act and react realistically. Some good points here, Josh. I linked the article to my facebook status.
It is always nice to get a mention J

Do you have to be careful about mentioning that you had a computer repair business? I reckon it'd be like telling people you're a doctor, they'd suddenly want free advice on their illnesses :)
So true, so true J but at the same time what an amazing experience it has been to learn more and even though I failed at making money from the business I was successful in being able to help others. I think about the advice we give to others and how it seems to always come back around and help us in the long run.

Nicely done. It takes a lot of skill to concisely convey an idea without just out and saying it. Very nice.
I don’t know if it is skill or many many revisions (I still look at it and say wow I need to change that and that.) I think this is a good point that it takes a lot of practicing.

Hope everyone has a great weekend. Sorry for not getting around to as many blogs as usual but it is finals week.

Friday, April 22, 2011

Writing Challenge

To find out about this challenge, go HERE.
My Show Not Tell Challenge: In 300 words or less, write a passage (it can be an excerpt from your WIP, flash fiction, a poem, or any other writing) that shows (rather than tells) the following:
·                     you're scared and hungry
·                     it's dusk
·                     you think someone is following you
·                     and just for fun, see if you can involve all five senses AND include these random words: shimmer, saccadic, substance, and salt.


The beat of his heart pounded in his ears as he ran along the dark trail, limbs and vines reaching out, trying to tear the flesh from his body. His saccadic eyes scanning the images that blurred in front of him, making no meaning to his befuddled mind. The cold salty sweat trickles down his leathery face chilling him in the cool night. The trail opens into a green meadow; a lake shimmering from the white moonlight stands in the middle. Smells of lilies touch the young man’s nose, reminding him of home.
Stumbling. Back to his feet. He runs around the lake; his legs splashing through the wet grass. Reaching the far end of the meadow he glanced back and saw the trees sway, their dark branches reaching out toward him.
Lunging into the forest, again his legs falter and he falls to the hard earth. Blood trickles from his head down his face and drips to the ground below. Time stands still as he watches the small red droplet fall to the ground. How has it come to this? There is no substance in this?
A cool wind rustles the leaves overhead bringing the memories of the warm summer days he would lay with his beloved under the aspen trees. Her red lips touched his, so gently. Her warm hand brushed his face as she pushed his brown hair out of his face. The smell of roses spilt from her hair as it tickled his face. She looked up, past him into the forest that grew dark.
Slowly he rises and turns to face the darkness that only he can stop.

Word Count 273

Stylish Blogger Award Part 2

Today is the day I get to award some wonderful bloggers the Stylish blogger award. I was very honored to get the award from John. He has such a great blog and creates wonderful poems.

So here are the bloggers that I wish to honor as well in no particular order.

EA Yonker @ Emily has been a great support and inspiration to me since I met her. She has a wonderful blog that gives writing tips on Wednesday, wonderful flash fiction on Sunday and great book reviews on Friday. Check it out.

Domestic Ventures @ Whitney’s blog is a great place to go if you want to check out some really cool projects done inexpensively. She recently posted on making books for her newborn.

Ellie Garratt @ The first thing I see about Ellie’s blog is the amazing header. There is so much in the eyes of people. Ellie’s blogs are always fun and have been a great joy in my day. She has kept up great in the A-Z challenge.

Val TheVictorian @ This is a great place to go to get a good story and have fun. Val has such a great sense of humor. I love her replies to my comments and her whit.

Jennifer Shirk @ Jennifer’s blog inspires me to exercise with her P90x workout. She is always positive and keeps my spirits up. I love the fun time I have when I visit her and read her blogs.

Siv Maria @ Siv has wonderful posts on mythology and history. It has been awesome to learn more about the Norse Gods and their stories. Plus her son plays LAIV (If you don’t know what that is you’ll have to check it out at her blog).

The Golden Eagle @ Wow is all I can say about the most amazing pictures that he posts regularly and the science that he reports. If you want to know more about science and see it in action this is the place to go.

Charmaine Clancy @ Charmaine has wonderful tips for writers. She is a wealth of information and is always willing to help. And how can you resist going to a blog named wagging tales.

I appreciate each and every one of you so much and love visiting your blogs and reading and learning from all of them. 

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Stylish Blogger Award

Thanks Poetry: Wellspring Of The Soul
For the Stylish Blogger Award
To accept the award, you have to do the following

1. Thank and link back to the person who gave you the award.
2. Share 7 things about yourself.
3. Award 10-15 blogs who you think deserve this award.
4. Contact these bloggers and let them know about the award.

Seven (7) Things about Myself:
1-    I used to own a computer repair business.
2-      I served a two year mission in Rio De Janiero, Brasil.
3-      I met my wife on a Sunday was engaged two weeks later, married two months after that and pregnant with my first son two months after that. Don’t worry we are happily married almost twelve years later J.
4-      I have four wonderful children.
5-      I wrote my first novel two years ago. Previously I had never thought about writing in fact the only class I have ever come close to failing was English.
6-      I love salt water Aquariums and this year finally got one. It is a 55 gallon tank. I built my own overflow and sump for it. I have a sea cucumber, banded coral shrimp, cleaner shrimp, yellow tang, a nemo fish, several other fish, and a hitchhiker worm thing that my wife can’t stand to look out.
7-      I love the writing community and am amazed at how supportive it is. Of all the professions I know this is by far the most supportive I have belonged to.

Thanks for this award and to all those who support me in various ways. Have a wonderful Thursday and I will be stopping by other blogs later today.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Schema’s and Traits Part 6

I am getting my information from “Schema Therapy a Practitioners Guide” by Jeffrey E. Young, Janet S. Klosko, and Marjorie E. Weishaar. Today we will be looking at a new domain called the Impaired Autonomy and performance. The next two schemas we will look at are Enmeshment/Undeveloped self, and Failure.

Enmeshment/Undeveloped self is when a patient is so fused with a significant other it is difficult to see where the person’s identity begins and ends and the significant other’s identity begins and ends. The significant other is usually a parent or a parent figure, such as a partner, sibling, boss, or best friend. The person with this schema does not have a fully developed self or normal social development. They feel as if they can not survive emotionally without the other or that the other can not survive without them. They feel as if they are one person with the other. They feel as if they are drifting in the world because of the undeveloped self. They do not know who they are. They are overcome with guilt if they do try to separate from the significant other. The goal is to help this person express their spontaneous natural selves rather than suppressing their true selves.

The failure schema is when a person believes that they have failed relative to their peers in areas of achievement such as career, money, status, school, or sports. They feel fundamentally inadequate compared to others and that they inherently lack what it takes to succeed. There are two directions this can go. One, the person surrenders to the schema and do everything halfheartedly or two, they overcompensate and become an overachiever. The overachiever is often successful, yet still feels fraudulent and unsuccessful. Many times failure has become a self-fulfilling prophecy in their lives. It is important to help these people feel confident and to succeed within the limits of their true abilities. It is important to help them see their limits and still feel as if they have value.

Have you ever seen Psycho? That is a very good example of Enmeshment at the extreme, in fact he is so enmeshed that he actually becomes his mother. What is a good example of the failure schema? How can we incorporate these characters into our books to add depth? 

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Schema’s and Traits Part 5

I am getting my information from “Schema Therapy a Practitioners Guide” by Jeffrey E. Young, Janet S. Klosko, and Marjorie E. Weishaar. Today we will be looking at a new domain called the Impaired Autonomy and performance. There are four schemas in this domain: Dependence/Incompetence, Vulnerability to harm or illness, Enmeshment/Undeveloped self, and Failure.

Dependence/Incompetence schema is when a person is childlike and helpless. They are unable to take care of themselves on their own; life is overwhelming and the feel like they are inadequate. They can’t make decisions or face change on their own. These people find others to take care of them, other people to substitute for their parents. Behaviors: they ask others for help, constantly asking questions while doing something, advice seeking, giving up easily, and refusing additional responsibilities. To help these people they need to have their sense of competence increased. Building of confidence and skills is important.

Vulnerability to harm or illness is when a person believes a catastrophe is about to strike at any moment. They feel that something beyond their control is going to happen. Something bad is going to happen and they can’t prevent it. These type of people avoid things, they become phobic and rely on magical thinking. To help these people it is important to lower their estimation of the likelihood of a catastrophe happening. It is important to help them stop avoiding and compensating for the irrational thoughts and fears.

The movie Failure to Launch is the first show that comes to mind that shows the Dependence/Incompetence schema. It is surprising to me how many different movies there are that show and build their story around these schemas.

How do you think parenting affects the dependence schema?  (Remember just because a person ends up with certain problems or mental health issues it is not necessarily due to the parenting that person received. There are so many things that go into mental health.)

Monday, April 18, 2011

Schema’s and Traits Part 4

I am getting my information from “Schema Therapy a Practitioners Guide” by Jeffrey E. Young, Janet S. Klosko, and Marjorie E. Weishaar. Today we will be looking at three more schemas from the disconnection and rejection domain.

Emotional Deprivation is one of the most common schemas that are worked with but are not generally recognized by the client. People who suffer from this schema feel depressed, bitter and lonely but don’t know why. They don’t expect others to understand them or nurture them. They feel misunderstood, cheated of love, emotionally deprived and feel a lack of affection and warmth from others. They do not ask others to help them with their emotional needs, they tend to ask others questions but do not talk much about themselves. They act stronger than they feel inside and do not seek out what they need, most of which is emotional support. They are overly demanding and get angry when they do not get what they want/need. It is important for these people to become aware of their emotional needs and then to ask for those needs to be met.

People with the Defectiveness/Shame schema feel as if they are defective, flawed, inferior, bad, worthless, or unlovable. They feel chronic feelings of shame about who they are. They can view any part of them as defective. They worry about others seeing through them and finding out who they really are (remember it is an irrational belief of who they “really are”). Typical behavior is to devalue themselves and allow others to devalue them. They secretly feel that they are to blame for their problems with other people. They may seem jealous or competitive. The object of treatment is to help the person feel a higher sense of self-esteem. To help them feel worthy of love and respect.

Social Isolation is the last disconnection/rejection schema. The people who exhibit this schema feel that they are different from other people. They feel isolated from others and that they are not part of a group. These people can be anyone from a gifted person to a child raised by a famous person to ethnic minorities. These people tend to stay on the periphery or avoid groups all together. To help these people they need to learn to feel less different than others. That other people are like them even if it isn’t the mainstream.

It is important to understand that these schemas can be exhibited by everyone but it is the extremes that cause problems in a person’s life.  What characters have you read about that exhibit these schemas? How did the author use these schemas to make the book better or worse?

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Summing up Saturday Part 2

Wow what an amazing week! I really appreciate all of your comments and I had a really tough time thinking of which ones to pick. I also struggle with this because I don’t want to make others feel like their comments did not touch me or change me in some way. I can’t think of one comment that I did not enjoy reading or did not affect me. Thank you all again for your continued support and comments.

Brian Miller said...
nice. i like the hint of supernatural, your descriptives are good...personally i think you would get more bang for your buck in the present tense vs. past but that is me..

What it did for me. I loved the critique and the advice on how to improve my story.
This idea reminds a lot of my child development classes in talking about how crucial the earlier years are for children because this is where they learn how to build a foundation for the rest of their lives, if they feel a good connection from their parents then they have a good foundation to help them connect well with the world when they get older. It is isnteresting though to think back in my own life and think about the times I may have felt abandoned and how it affected me later with different situations. It really can have a big effect!

What it did for me. Reminded me of the importance of childhood experiences.

Laurel Garver said...
It saddens me a lot that so many writers of faith feel spirituality has to be gutted from their work. I think it's perfectly acceptable even to nonbelieving audiences to see genuine faith in action. I'm a Christian, but a few summers ago read and really enjoyed a Jennifer Weiner's _Certain Girls_. It has lots of Judaism in it, which I thought was wonderful and fascinating. I also recall that Jan Karon's Mitford books were huge bestsellers--and they were about an Episcopal priest caring for his flock in a small town in North Carolina.

I enjoy writing spiritual struggle of characters dealing with crises that shake up their usual ways of understanding God. I've had a few atheists read my completed novel and they found it moving and non-preachy. It's really a matter of how the characters embody doubt and faith that make a story mainstream rather than niched for specifically religious markets.

What it did for me. Taught me the importance of respecting and understanding others beliefs and that others will respect and understand my beliefs.

Kristy said...
The emotional memory seems stronger to me. I tend to remember more of what I have felt in my dreams too. The feeling lingers, rather than the events of the dreams. I also believe that people don't really change unless they have an emotional experience to do so.

What it did for me. The emotional experience in life is so important and without it we don’t change.

Jennifer Shirk said...
That's really interesting to think about. It is kind of neat to think about how culture, education, family life, etc...shape our behaviors just as much personality.

What it did for me. Really summed up what parts of nature effect our personality.

Elliot Grace said...
...without a change of opinion, a change of heart perhaps, or an earth-shattering change of livelihood, it's a struggle to hold a reader's attention long enough to enjoy the story we've sacrificed tears while creating. Even the most subtle shift in one's character may be what's needed to cause the reader to fall for that favorite character. Something simple, something unique...yet unforgettable.

Great post:)


What it did for me. The last line is what catches my attention the most keep it simple and unique but unforgettable.

What changed you the most this week and Why?

Friday, April 15, 2011

The Dance of Death

Wendy Tyler Ryan is having a Blogaversary Blogfest today. This is my 500 word flash fiction I hope you all enjoy it.

The Dance of Death

Mist settled over the moonlit streets of the forgotten city of Anglicar as the children, Elara and Tamaris, played quietly in a dark alley. Tamaris drew in the muck of the street as Elara watched. The children had been living on the streets for as long as they could remember. They only knew that Elara with her long black hair had been around longer than Tamaris.
The thrum, thrum beat of Mambo music broke the once silent air.  Tamaris stopped and Elara looked up, seeking out the sound. They rose ethereally from the deluge of filth that they had been playing in. Gliding down the alley toward the street the two looked curiously from side to side.
Reaching the end of the alley, Elara pointed down the street, toward a light where the sound seemed to originate from.  The red moon reflected off of her bony white finger. Tamaris nodded slowly, his slick black hair barely moving as they started down the street.
The music grew more intense, the beat of the drums could be felt in their chests. Slowly, ever so slowly they approached the music and light in wonder and awe of how it affected them. They had not felt in a long time; before the times of myth and days of the mongrel king Utharis.
They reached the light. A musky smell wafted from the group of shapes that swayed side to side in a rhythmic motion to the beat. How strange the shapes were that enmeshed one another, not worrying about the sickness that touch could bring.
The two children watched the odd shapes in wonder as the red moon rose into the dark night. How their bodies moved, like waves crashing into the rocks at the point of dreams. The mist would swirl and turn around their legs, unnoticed by the shapes that danced, unattended by those who would soon dance no more.
Elara moved closer, her black dress flowing around her softly like smoke coming off an almost dead coal. She touched the shadows around her, unnoticed, unattended. Tamaris joined her, their bodies beginning to mesh like the shapes around them. The music became part of them as they moved to the beat, faster and faster. The moon almost down and the sun beginning to rise, they danced on until the music stopped.
The grins widened as the two children held each others hands, almost but not quite feeling the warmth that they had once shared. Their white hands slowly fell to their sides. The grief and pain that they had pushed down for so long began to surface once again. Shame filled their eyes, their smiles faded.
The children floated slowly away from the square where the shapes lay in huddled masses. The shadowy bodies of the dancers lay twisted and grotesque from the disease that had touched them. Looking back the children sorrowed, knowing that they would never feel the beat of the drum, the music, or the touch of flesh again.

Schema’s and Traits Part 3

There are several different domains that schemas fall into. The first domain is Disconnection and Rejection. Within this domain are the Abandonment, Mistrust/Abuse, Emotional Deprivation, Defectiveness/Shame, and Social Isolation schemas. I will not be able to go into huge amounts of detail for each schema but just a little of what they look like. I am getting my information from “Schema Therapy a Practitioners Guide” by Jeffrey E. Young, Janet S. Klosko, and Marjorie E. Weishaar. Today we will be looking at the first two schemas.

People who have a high abandonment schema are always feeling like they are going to be abandoned or lose people close to them. They believe that these people will leave them in many different ways, from death to leaving them for somebody else. A person with an abandonment schema will be constantly looking for signs that show that they are about to be abandoned. These people are highly anxious about losing people. People with this schema need to learn to be more realistic about the stability of relationships.

Mistrust/Abuse schema is characterized by people who believe others are going to take advantage of them and lie to them. People with a high mistrust/abuse schema do not trust others and are on the constant lookout of people taking advantage of them. They are very guarded and suspicious of others. These people do not share their thoughts and feelings and do not get close to others. Those who have overcome this schema have learned to distinguish between those people they can trust and those they can not.

In better understanding these two schemas we can begin to visualize challenges that our characters are trying to overcome. In my first novel I write about a boy who flees his home as a young child and feels abandoned by his parents. Throughout the novel he is learning that he will not be abandoned by those around him and even that his parents did not abandon him. He learns to trust and love and to open up to those who are trying to help him. He then is able to not only rely on others, but in his own inner strength.

How have you, or can use these schemas to create motivation in your characters? Challenges? Stories?

Thursday, April 14, 2011


I have not read or heard about this when reading about character development (that doesn’t mean it isn’t out there) and yet it is such an important part of who we are. This is the spirituality or non-spirituality of a character. My own spirituality makes up such a huge part of who I am. It influences my morals and belief system. It is how I cope with things, both good and horrible. It influences the way I raise my kids, the way I react to situations, and the way I make decisions.

Think about the way religion has influenced you, your loved ones, your enemies, even the history of our world. The worlds that we create will have this component as well, or the lack of it will be a story in and of itself. Does the world you create worship many Gods? one God? is the God in your world good, evil or both?  How does the religion/s influence the world you create? How does your main character react to that religion? How do others react to your MC if he belongs to a certain religion, is it positive or negative? Is there a true religion or is it all man made?

I TA (Teachers Assistant) for a Women’s Gender class and it has been such an interesting class for me to TA over. The reason why is because of my own personal religious beliefs and view points of the world. It has been a great opportunity for me to really get to know people that I normally do not have the opportunity to know, because of differing social circles. This has made me think about how my own characters react to differing social circles. I have not actually wrote this into my story, shame on me J. One of my characters is a human boy who eventually meets up with elves and dark elves. He has no reaction to the possible differences in belief systems. That would have been an excellent way to show the reader more of my character's personality.

I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (Mormon). What is your first reaction to this? What are the emotions and thoughts that go through your head? What if I had said Catholic, Atheist, Jewish, Agnostic, Christian, Anti, Buddhist or any other of the many religions? These are some of the possible thoughts and emotions that go through your characters heads as well. These are internal questions only. Of course you can respond to them but they are intended more for you to think about.

So how do you use spirituality in your own writing? What are some of the thoughts that you had while reading this? What were the emotions you had when you read the heading?

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Memories, emotional or cognitive?

There is evidence showing that we have different areas in our brains for cognitive memory and emotional memory. The interesting thing is that some studies have shown that emotional memory comes quicker to the forefront than cognitive memories. This means that when we start to experience a situation, if it is similar to past experiences, we remember the emotions behind that experience before we remember the exact details of the experience.

Before we go on, let's understand the difference between the two. When I say cognitive memories, I’m referring to the cognitive thoughts that we have about a situation, the layout of the room, the people that are there, what was said, the thoughts that we had, and other physical attributes of the situation. When I say emotional memories I’m referring to the feelings we had about the situation, were we angry, sad, happy, excited….

This means that when we go into a stressful situation, our initial reactions will be emotional rather than cognitive. Although not always bad, many times it can spell disaster for us and the situation we are in. This is why we are taught to take a deep breath before responding to stressful situations, to take time to think things through.

It is very easy for us as writers to get caught up with the cognitive reactions of our characters, because we are thinking about what we are writing rather than feeling. We need to remember that reactions are fueled by memories of past experiences that were highly emotional. Those emotional memories will often cause the character to react on an emotional level rather than a cognitive one.

Writing about the emotional reactions that characters have is a great way to setup problems for our characters. They see a person that is similar to their father who beat them every day, they see a man that reminds them of their father who loved them but he turns out to be a creep.

How do you react to stressful situations? Is it because of past experiences and what comes first the emotional memories or the cognitive?

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Nature vs Nurture Part 1

There is a show that I have been watching lately called “Samantha Who?” It is about a woman who was in a car accident and now has amnesia. Before she was hit she was a devil and only cared about herself and hurt a lot of other people. Now she has become an angel and is trying to rectify all of her past mistakes and live a better life.

This leads me to something that is important to understand, a person may have talent and abilities but without the right circumstances those abilities will not manifest. The example that was used in class was Tiger Woods. He is a great golfer and definitely has an innate ability to golf, but what if he had been born in Africa. Would he have been a great golfer if he was born to a poor African family?

This brings us to another important point of nature versus nurture. What is more important what is the driving force behind a person’s abilities, personality, behavior….? This is something that has been debated for years if not centuries. I personally believe that both have a lot to do with who a person is, just like the example of Tiger Woods.

In my new novel I am writing I have a woman who is a warrior but she has been sheltered because of her family’s position. When she gets to the gladiator pit and has to fight for her life she needs to be able to survive (the story would be over if she didn’t). She has the ability from birth but I also had to create a reason that it would manifest. I gave her a good friend who she dueled with, he was the captain of the guard. Now she has the opportunity to learn and increase her natural born abilities.

So, we need to not only understand the natural born abilities of our characters (and self) but also put them in circumstances in which those abilities can be strengthened and improved.

What are you doing to cover both of these areas? How have you seen it in your own life?

I have also posted a link on the trampoline page check it out it is a TED video of five things kids should do.

Monday, April 11, 2011

The Things That Change!!!

Well, over the past week we have talked a lot about static things that don’t change much, but in the beginning we talked about the importance of change. So today we will be looking at the things that do change. Now this of course depends on the person you are talking to and these are my own personal feelings (interesting how I put feelings here and not thoughts what does that say about me?)

I think (and then think here very interesting) one of the main things that changes are behavior. A person’s behavior can change, we see this all around us every day. The behaviorists use the ABC theory to explain why we do things. A = Antecedent, B = Behavior and C = Consequence (very simplified version here much more to it). So looking at this we can see that we can’t really change the Antecedent but we can change our behavior which changes our consequences. So when we are working with clients we look at the antecedents and the behavior that follows and explain the consequence of that behavior. We then look at what would result from different behaviors. This will hopefully help the client see that a different behavior brings about better consequences, and they change.

Another thing that I feel (feel here) can change is perspective. I use guided imagery to help people see past experiences and then work with them to see those experiences through “healthy adult” eyes. By understanding past experiences through the healthy adult perspective they are able to understand why things happened and/or if they should have happened. For example the kid who is running toward the street hears his mom yelling at him. All he thinks is mom is mad… I’m a bad person… You can see where this can go. When we take them through guided imagery the healthy adult sees the scene from the mother’s perspective, who is scared to death that her child is going to get hit and die.

Emotions and feelings can change as well, in my opinion. This is explored through guided imagery as well. It is important to help the client see how and where these feelings are coming from.

Irrational thoughts are also changeable. Cognitive behaviorists employ many different tools to help modify irrational thoughts. Thoughts are confronted and challenged; they are looked at with a different perspective. (So all those who say they can’t write or they are not good enough to get published… I challenge you to think long and hard on this IRRATIONAL thought).

So what does this have to do with character development and knowing your character? It is important that we as writers setup situations that will change the behavior, thoughts, emotions, perspective, and feelings of our characters. It is the letter that is found, the loved one who dies, the sermon that touches the heart, the challenges that bend but do not break the person, and the unconditional personal regard from a person whom we respect.

How do you change? What other things do you believe change?

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Summing up Saturday Part 1

After such a heavy week of exploring our characters I think it’s a good time to relax and take it all in. We have learned a lot over the past week: two days of Schemas and traits (wipe the sweat from your brow stuff), fundamental attribution error (more on change), functional analysis and functional assessment (some powerful stuff here), and last but not least staying motivated (very important).

There have been many great comments:

-Pam Torres from said, “I think Emily has it right. It's about striving to live a writers life: writing everyday, observing the world like a writer, listening to the people around you, reading, and always working to get better at getting words on the page. [It doesn't hurt to have a few cheerleaders on the side.]”
-Emily from said, “Knowing your character is important but in my mind there also has to be room for plot. Whether you have plot driven characters or character driven plot doesn't matter so long as there is something there to keep the reader involved in the story and give them a feeling of satisfaction when they finish. I love to write but even I get bored if there is no plot.”
-Jennifer Shirk from said, “In books, I usually try to show change by how the MC is in the beginning of the story--by establishing what they believe either about themselves or others.
Then you have to give them a lesson that will cause them to change that belief. By the end you can actually see if they think or feel the same way when given a circumstance that forces them to choose an action based on what they believe.”
-April Hoyt (whose blog is private) said, “I think this is important even for understanding ourselves better. To understand why I react to certain stimuli or certain people. Very interesting...”
- said, “But the challenge, like you said is to make the antagonist, all characters, essentially realistic. For that they need to have flaws, especially the antag. I like them to have a REASON why they behave a certain way. This for me, gives the MC an edge in defeating them.”

Awesome, these are some amazing comments that have helped me understand better the things we have talked about. I appreciate all of your help and wish I could have put all of your comments up but due to space and time we only get a small taste of what was said over the last week.

So what was your favorite comment over the past week? What post did you like best? What did you learn?

Friday, April 8, 2011

Schema’s and traits part 2

Yesterday we talked about schemas and traits. In schema therapy, developed by Jeffrey e. Young, Janet S. Klosko, and Marjorie E. Weishaar, there are 18 different maladaptive schemas. All of us express these maladaptive schemas to some extent. It is when you get into the extremes that they become a problem. Most of the characters that we create will not express these schemas. Villains on the other hand are villains because of these schemas. There are very few villains that are just pure evil; they had to come from somewhere. (Disclaimer this in no way insinuates that if you or someone you know has these schemas, are evil or a villain, only that truly evil people generally are that way because of maladaptive schemas.) From time to time I will be going over these schemas in greater detail but for now I just want to list them and talk about coping styles. The 18 maladaptive schemas are: Abandonment/instability, mistrust/abuse, emotional deprivation, defectiveness/shame, social isolation/alienation, dependence/incompetence, vulnerability to harm or illness, enmeshment/undeveloped self, failure, entitlement/grandiosity, insufficient self-control/self-discipline, subjugation, self-sacrifice, approval-seeking/recognition seeking, negativity/pessimism, emotional inhibition, unrelenting standards/hyper criticalness, and punitiveness. Like I said I will be discussing these more over the coming weeks and what they would look like. In the meantime imagine what maladaptive schema your own villain has, he probably has several.

Now, on to coping styles, there are three different styles and they correlate with our basic instincts of threat: fight, flight, and freeze. The three coping styles are overcompensation, avoidance and surrender. Coping styles are how a person reacts to his schema being threatened (the way he/she believes being attacked).

In a nutshell overcompensation is when people react by believing, feeling and acting as if the opposite is true. If, for example, as a child they felt worthless, when they acquired the schema, as adults they will do anything they can to be perfect. On the surface they are confident but underneath they are falling apart. Avoidance is when a person does all they can to avoid the maladaptive schema, they pretend it does not exist, they do not acknowledge it. They do this by using drugs, alcohol, become workaholics and other activities to avoid (trying to take over the world and be an evil dictator). Surrender is when a person does not fight or avoid the schema they believe the schema is true, they feel the pain directly. They are passive and choose partners that caused the schema to form in the first place (the evil sidekick is born).

This has been a long post but I hope that you have gained some new insight into creating your villains and why they are the way they are. Can you imagine the maladaptive schema your villain has what coping style does he/she use?

I have added a new page called the trampoline analogy. It is an analogy of how I view raising children. Check it out and let me know what you think. 

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Schema’s and traits part 1

There is this idea called a schema. Schema makes up what we think and what we feel about the world around us and ourselves. It is like a filing cabinet with lots of different folders in it. When we were kids we only had a few folders with a few files in this cabinet. One day we are crawling around and we encounter a four legged furry thing which our mom/dad calls a dog. So we store that away in one of our folders and continue crawling. Within a few days we encounter another four legged furry thing and we say, “Dog.” Mom/dad say, “no, cat.” Now at this point our schema is being attacked or confronted. We think it is a dog but people we trust and love say it is a cat. Because we trust them we call the folder, where the dog was, animal and add a new sheet of information called cat.

So we add folders, and files to folders as we grow older. Each time our schema is challenged we either create a new file for the information or we change and add to old information. There is much more to this of course but this is schema in a nutshell (a very small nutshell). When we get older the more files and folders we have, which have been reinforced by experiences, good or bad. This means it is harder for us to change the schemas, they become more static. Remember the case above about the dog and cat think what happens to people who were given false or damaging information from people they loved.

When writing about our characters we can touch on these schemas. Schemas build personality traits that can be extreme but generally are not. Some stable temperamental traits that have been shown to remain stable over time are: Labile-nonreactive, Dysthimic-optimistic, anxious-calm, obsessive-distractible, passive-aggressive, irritable-cheerful, and shy-sociable. These all lie on a continuum meaning that labile – nonreactive is not one or the other it can be closer to nonreactive but still labile in certain situations. This is a lot of information but if you can place your characters on the continuum of these 7 traits you will better understand him/her. Make a scale from 1-10 and place each word on either end then mark where your character is on each scale.

Anyone dare put their own rating scale up? 

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

How to think about change in our own lives, others and our characters.

So I wasn’t sure what to write about until I read a post from Then I started thinking about change, (You’ll learn that change is one of my big thoughts) what can change and how do we write change. So….

There is this thing called the “fundamental attribution error” it is an error that we make when trying to figure out why a person does something. Think about someone cutting you off in traffic, how do you describe that person, what are the first things that come to your mind. Studies have found that generally we overweight attributes that are stable (race, age, sex, things that don’t change personality) and underweight attributes that do change (pregnant wife in the car, texting on cell phone, sick, things that can be changed.)

One of the big things that we overweight is personality. Personality for the most part does not change and yet, how often do we try to change our own personality or someone else’s. A movie that has many different types of change is Lord of The Rings. Study the difference between how Frodo, Sam, Pippin, and Merry (spelling may be wrong sorry about that) change. Their personality, race, sex all stay the same yet their behaviors change drastically. At the end Pippin and Merry are still goofs but they take on more responsibility. Sam is still the “mother hen” but he has a lot more confidence. Frodo who has changed the most is still Frodo but has a much greater weight on him.

The way people change is most often slow and hardly noticed, like the hobbits. Other times we have drastic changes like in the case of Gandalf going from the Grey wizard to the white. Look at the people you have known the longest. How do they change? Have you noticed the changes?  This is how our characters need to change as well. They should change over time except for in extreme instances. The changes will be perceivable but only slightly. At the end of the book readers should recognize the change but while reading, it should almost be imperceptible. Once again back to Frodo think about how he changed, it was not unnatural and rushed but slow and steady.

How do you write change in your books? Do you think personality can change? Share with the rest of us so we can all learn together J

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Functional analysis and functional assessment part 1:

So, in class yesterday we were discussing functional assessment and analysis. This is a very interesting thing because it is going beyond the topographic view of things. Topographic view is looking at the things everyone can see. For example look at the room you are in and describing it. There may even be a clear container that has liquid in it but if looking at it from a topographic point of view you really don’t know what the liquid is that is in it. You can make assumptions but you don’t really know (unless of course you put the liquid in it, but that is beside the point).  

When doing a functional assessment it is taking into account all of the things that cause the problem. What causes the character to blow his nose: because he is allergic to something, he has a cold, he just bumped it.

Functional analysis is going from learning who the person is to manipulating the person’s environment to see how that person reacts in the given situation. We purposefully change things in their environment to get them to react a certain way or see how they react.

When trying to create a believable character we need to go beyond what they look like and what they think to the point where we understand how they will react in certain situations. Four things to know about human behavior: is understandable and predictable (if we have all the information), is malleable and can be shaped, occurs within a context and not a vacuum, is learned (can be taught) and can be manipulated.

How well do we need to know our characters to write a good novel? 

Monday, April 4, 2011

Staying Motivated

Today’s post will be a little different because I want to look at the writer. I think that it is important, as writers, to keep ourselves healthy and motivated. One of the things that I find myself doing is expecting more than what I’m getting (the million dollar book deal, 10,000 followers and stuff like that J) and so I become unmotivated. You know what I’m talking about: the rejection letters, the critiques, all that fun and very important stuff.

The things that keep me motivated though are things like my critique group. I go to a critique group and a motivating group. My wife has been a great support in helping me stay motivated. All of you who read and post on my blog keep my hopes up. These things are very important but when it comes down to it, the thing that we all need to learn is self-motivation. We need to find ways to give ourselves confidence and to build ourselves up. The way I find to do this is by writing consistently so that I remember how fun it is to write. I also re-read my work and allow myself to just enjoy it, without looking for mistakes.

The following is something my eight year old son wrote to me,
            Dear, Joshua Hoyt

I loved your book Dad. I hope you make more books. Your book was so awesome.

                                                                        Love your son

Now if that doesn’t motivate me nothing will (:

What motivates you in your endeavors? What are your thoughts?

Saturday, April 2, 2011

How do our Protagonists resist the effects of PTSD?

Protagonists are an interesting group of people. They generally have some superhuman ability and are thrown into some horrible situations. This makes me think of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). PTSD is an interesting thing that happens to some people but not to others. The question is, since we are talking about protagonists, why do some people not get PTSD.

When I got into a car accident a couple of years ago I was deathly afraid to drive for fear of getting into another accident. I had run into the back of another person when they had stopped suddenly. My brakes were especially squishy that day and so I was unable to stop in time. I felt like I had little control over the situation. Discussing PTSD with my supervisor we both came up with one of the factors, probably the largest part, control. If a person feels like they have control over a situation they are much less likely to have PTSD following the situation. The key word is feel. Think about soldiers who go into combat situations and are on high alert for extended time. The majority of them come home relatively okay. But me in my car crash feared driving. (I can drive just fine and it wasn’t true PTSD just an example BTW).

SO this brings us back to our Protagonist who gets shot at, thrown into dungeons, faces aliens and dragons, is raped, sees loved ones killed before them and many other horrible situations. What makes our protagonist special? Why is she/he able to withstand these situations with little to no adverse effect? One of my favorite protagonists is Frodo from Lord of The Rings. Talk about change and the effect the war had on him. In the end he was not the same, he had to leave because there was no possible way he could overcome the effects of PTSD in his world.

Friday, April 1, 2011

The person that creeps you out but you don’t know why.

There is an odd thing that happens when we get around certain types of people. The hair on the back of our neck stands up, our gut tenses or any a number of other things happens. One of my supervisors talks about when he gets around bi polar people his heart speeds up. One of my teacher explains that when she gets around anti-social personalities it makes her feel yucky. It doesn’t always have to be the extremes but when a person starts to act like someone we have had a bad experience with we initially dislike them or when someone acts and looks like someone we have had good experiences with we like them.

So what makes a good villain? It’s the character that creeps us out or makes us feel yucky inside. It’s the character that makes us feel like we have been to a used car dealer and we know we are getting ripped off. These feelings come because of past experiences that we have had with certain types of people and we recognize it because of simple body movements or their words are off just a tiny bit. We feel like something is off with them but can’t quite tell what it is.

The challenge is getting the reader to feel this way even though they can’t see the person. We need to produce characters that are so real that the reader can see, touch, smell, and feel them. We need to make something just a little bit off about the character and be consistent in using it. It needs to be the subconscious that makes the reader uneasy so that it hits her/him at the core.

Tell me about certain times you have been creeped out by a person but don’t know why until later.

Friends Meetup Party - the perfect line