I am getting my information from “Schema Therapy a Practitioners Guide” by Jeffrey E. Young, Janet S. Klosko, and Marjorie E. Weishaar. Today we will be looking at three more schemas from the disconnection and rejection domain.
Emotional Deprivation is one of the most common schemas that are worked with but are not generally recognized by the client. People who suffer from this schema feel depressed, bitter and lonely but don’t know why. They don’t expect others to understand them or nurture them. They feel misunderstood, cheated of love, emotionally deprived and feel a lack of affection and warmth from others. They do not ask others to help them with their emotional needs, they tend to ask others questions but do not talk much about themselves. They act stronger than they feel inside and do not seek out what they need, most of which is emotional support. They are overly demanding and get angry when they do not get what they want/need. It is important for these people to become aware of their emotional needs and then to ask for those needs to be met.
People with the Defectiveness/Shame schema feel as if they are defective, flawed, inferior, bad, worthless, or unlovable. They feel chronic feelings of shame about who they are. They can view any part of them as defective. They worry about others seeing through them and finding out who they really are (remember it is an irrational belief of who they “really are”). Typical behavior is to devalue themselves and allow others to devalue them. They secretly feel that they are to blame for their problems with other people. They may seem jealous or competitive. The object of treatment is to help the person feel a higher sense of self-esteem. To help them feel worthy of love and respect.
Social Isolation is the last disconnection/rejection schema. The people who exhibit this schema feel that they are different from other people. They feel isolated from others and that they are not part of a group. These people can be anyone from a gifted person to a child raised by a famous person to ethnic minorities. These people tend to stay on the periphery or avoid groups all together. To help these people they need to learn to feel less different than others. That other people are like them even if it isn’t the mainstream.
It is important to understand that these schemas can be exhibited by everyone but it is the extremes that cause problems in a person’s life. What characters have you read about that exhibit these schemas? How did the author use these schemas to make the book better or worse?
Wasn't sure if you were describing characters or writers. Very interesting stuff.
ReplyDeletecheers,
mood
Once again, a great post. The character that comes to mind is Percy Jackson. In the beginning of the first book he compares himself to all of those around him and sees that he has a lot lacking when it comes to attention span and normality in his life. It isn't until her learns more about himself and his past that he starts to feel like he belongs somewhere. Even after he gets to the camp he feels isolated from the other campers because of his parentage. Eventually it all works out but you can really feel his isolation.
ReplyDeleteInteresting as usual. Thinking about the movie, Hours. If you haven't seen it then you should. You just wrote about all the main characters.
ReplyDeleteOne book that comes to mind is Evil Genius by Catherine Jinks and the main character Cadel Piggot. (Yes, that is his name. :P) He never really "fit in" with anyone he knew and instead hides away by using his computer and keeping to his own projects.
ReplyDeleteFascinating Josh!
ReplyDeletethanks for sharing so much information...when I write, I write from the heart and don't know the identity of what it is I am doing but you hit the nail on the head; thanks so much!
Seems most traditional fairy tales have characters suffering under these schemas, although they usually rise above it by staying sweet and lovely. It's amazing how much sociology can teach us about fiction (and maybe fiction can teach us about sociology) :)
ReplyDeleteKeep up the good work.
Wagging Tales - Blog for Writers
Writing about people who are socially isolated, can be fun! They mean, different things to different people!!
ReplyDeleteThey act different and their actions are limited by our imagination only!!
with warm regards
CatchyTips for Writers
There was a book I read a few years ago, I can't remember the name of it, but the MC exhibited these traits. Initially I thought it was interesting, but when nothing changed, it became a drag to the story. So in this case, it didn't help.
ReplyDeleteThese are some great comments. I think it is so important to look at the stories we have read and look at the characters and their traits/schemas to see how we can use them in our own stories. Thanks for the comments.
ReplyDeleteIts kinda fun, or maybe a little worrisome that each post you put about different physcology terms it is easy to see some of these things in my own personal life- maybe it was a good thing I didn't go into physcology or I might have diagnosed myself so much into a nut head or something. :) It is interseting to see these different things in people all around especially in stories.
ReplyDeleteWhat a great idea for a blog! I did the Meyers/Brigg personality tests for my heroes once, but that's the deepest I got into their heads. ;)
ReplyDeleteSound diagnosis, Doc.
ReplyDeleteYour writing makes good reading.
Sound diagnosis, Doc.
ReplyDeleteYour writing makes good reading.
I think you just described every writer I know (including myself). Once again, excellent post. These posts really help build characters of substance. Thank you so much!
ReplyDeleteLow self-esteem; been there, done that! I tend to work through this particular perceived weakness of mine by having my characters work through it. I love to give them at least one "rock"... someone who has an "You're great!" for every single "I'm worthless."
ReplyDelete