I am getting my information from “Schema Therapy a Practitioners Guide” by Jeffrey E. Young, Janet S. Klosko, and Marjorie E. Weishaar. Today we will be looking at a new domain called the Impaired Autonomy and performance. There are four schemas in this domain: Dependence/Incompetence, Vulnerability to harm or illness, Enmeshment/Undeveloped self, and Failure.
Dependence/Incompetence schema is when a person is childlike and helpless. They are unable to take care of themselves on their own; life is overwhelming and the feel like they are inadequate. They can’t make decisions or face change on their own. These people find others to take care of them, other people to substitute for their parents. Behaviors: they ask others for help, constantly asking questions while doing something, advice seeking, giving up easily, and refusing additional responsibilities. To help these people they need to have their sense of competence increased. Building of confidence and skills is important.
Vulnerability to harm or illness is when a person believes a catastrophe is about to strike at any moment. They feel that something beyond their control is going to happen. Something bad is going to happen and they can’t prevent it. These type of people avoid things, they become phobic and rely on magical thinking. To help these people it is important to lower their estimation of the likelihood of a catastrophe happening. It is important to help them stop avoiding and compensating for the irrational thoughts and fears.
The movie Failure to Launch is the first show that comes to mind that shows the Dependence/Incompetence schema. It is surprising to me how many different movies there are that show and build their story around these schemas.
This is an intriguing post - and choc-full of info! nicely done...
ReplyDeleteI think your trampoline analogy also goes well in here. If there are too many nets for the children as they are growing up, I believe they are more likely to show one of these schemas, especially the dependence/incompetence one. Then again if the parents are sheltering their child too much I wonder if they have vulnerability to harm or illness issues. Another great post.
ReplyDeleteLaura - Thanks for the comment. I hope you find it helpful :)
ReplyDeleteEmily - This is an excellent comment and thought. I did not even think about my own analogy :) And then about the parents being overprotective because of their schema. Wow very insightful. Thanks for the comment.
I love the movie Failure to Launch, so funny. But if parents don't encourage kids to be independent well then....failure to launch. So not happening here LOL!
ReplyDeleteKerri - Great point it is so important for parents to help kids feel independent.
ReplyDeleteI see certain members behaving the way you described perfectly in the Dependence/incompetence category. As much as I'd like to admit I haven't had some sort of helping hand in that, the fact that I've enabled their dependency has kept them from seeking the truer help they need. All I can do is hope they find the strength to get themselves back on track without me enabling them any more.
ReplyDeleteThis was so interesting! As a parent of three sons, I think that not every single trait is a result of parenting, but a heck of a lot are.
ReplyDeleteHi Josh,
ReplyDeleteYou sure hit home with me on this post. I think I have witnessed all as I grew, thankfully it is all behind me now. Though phobic in fear of being around situations I can not control, this is a daily routine of facing the fear. It is not easy but it works.
Your posts are so full of personal self help data and full of life, one may only sense the good nature of your heart!
Thanks.
Jeffrey - This is a great point and a hard one to do for many.
ReplyDeleteJulie - I agree that is why it is so hard to be a parent. But we have to cut ourselves some slack and realize we all make mistakes.
Wellspring - Thanks for the comment and thoughts. You are a great support to me.
I've never seen the movie (believe it or not). :)
ReplyDeleteBut I can see that if parents see a certain "helplessness" in a child they might unknowingly feed into it by contantly doing this for the child.
As a parent, I do find it hard to let go sometimes, even though i know it's best.
Fascinating stuff Josh.
ReplyDeleteMy Nan brought me up, and carer became cared for - it was a very significant shift in our relatonship and the whole co-dependency issue.
As a parent myself, I am the opposite and never want my children to have to take care/help me in that way. Children should be children, and enjoy their youth and the innocence.
Jennifer - This is a great point. Helping is different than doing.
ReplyDeleteBluestocking Mum - thanks for bringing up this point that kids need to be kids.
Excellent blog and interesting articles. Nice bumping into you :)
ReplyDeleteHi M Pax thanks for the comment look forward to getting to know you better.
ReplyDeleteworking with kids i will say parenting does play a huge role...but you are right it is not the only issue going on with mental health...diet, stress, there are lots of factors that play into it...i would say though that in a majority of the cases i work, there are major parent issues wether inattention or failure to hold kids accountable enabling them...
ReplyDeleteParenting really is amazing in how it affects kids- but it is easier said than done. It is kinda one of those interesting things, you love your kids so you want to help them and protect them as much as possible, but if done not so good, it could end up hurting them in the long run. It is interesting to see people that have these sort of characteristics, maybe I am wrong, but it seems like more and more people are having these similar sort of issues today- or maybe it is just now coming more to our attention :)
ReplyDeleteBrian - Thanks for the comment you summed it up well.
ReplyDeleteWhitney - I agree parenting is much easier to talk about, read about, watch about etc. than it really is.
Your post has me thinking that it's no wonder some of us end up in bad relationships. We go into them with our problems, seeking something the other person may either not be willing to give or on the other hand, may provide what we're looking for to excess.
ReplyDeleteSo, I have always considered myself a bit incompetent, but after reading the full definition, I don't really fall into this schema. YAY for me!!
ReplyDeleteJ.L. This is a great observation you make. We do bring a lot of junk into our relationships.
ReplyDeleteApril- Congrats. Most people do not fall into the clinical range for these schemas, in fact a very small percentage of the total population.
For whatever reason, Bean from Ender's Game popped into my head as the antithesis of this schema. He is so young and small and SHOULD be so vulnerable and dependent, yet he is the opposite. He thinks very logically through things and it doesn't occur to him to ask for help unless it is a very calculated plot for power or something. One could argue that copying or pretending to be part of this schema could be very, very manipulative.
ReplyDelete