This next parenting style is the one I like to call the "yes" style. It is the style where the parent feels like saying no is a bad thing. It is called the Indulgent parenting style.
The indulgent parent is very responsive but not demanding. The extreme is the free-ranger parent, anything goes. This style is also known as permissive, non-directive or lenient. The parent has few behavioral expectations for the child. These parents are nurturing and accepting of their children they are supportive and most people see them as great parents. The problem is that they do not require children to regulate themselves or behave appropriately. The child tends to end up being a spoiled brat or spoiled sweet depending on the behavior of the children.
So what happens to these kids. It seems like the perfect scenario and it seems that it is almost the trend lately. A recent study found that children with the indulgent parent have nearly triple the risk of participating in heavy drinking. Children with strict parents have double the chance of heavy drinking. So you see in this scenario it is better to be the Authoritarian rather then the indulgent. Children that have these types of parents tend to be more impulsive, and as adolescents may engage in more misconduct and drug use. These children have a hard time of learning to control their behavior and always expect to get their way. On the other hand these kids may turn out to have better emotional security, more independent, and mature quicker.
So what type of characters would we write about that have parents like this?
I plan on doing the fourth parenting style tomorrow so stop on by.
this form is a disaster...at least when i am trying to help them...if they are unwilling to change their parenting style, i am pretty much wasting my time...kids act out in this situation often because they want restraints put on them...because structure is a way of showing you care and placation may make you happy for a bit but it does not last...
ReplyDeleteIf I had a character with a parents like that, I would probably have him/her be the rich kid with a famous family, but who doesn't interact with them much. Or someone who is a bully and tries to tell the people around them what to do.
ReplyDeleteWhile growing up, I had to opportunity to meet many products of divorce. I found the parents fell into this category or style of parenting because they were overwhelmed with the guilt of breaking the family apart. It lead to extravagant gifts and little discipline. They ran wild and acted amorally and ethically bankrupt.
ReplyDeleteThe same parents remarried and had more children. The newest children received more attention. It felt like this was their chance to fix the mistakes they made with the other children. The children from the previous marriage were pushed away. Alcoholism, drug abuse and eating disorders were some of the results of this. It was the children's attempt to ease the pain and exert control over their lives. It's sad. Very, very sad to see such beautiful people destroy themselves as a result of their parents' choices.
Considering what I said on the last post, I think it also applies here. A good example of this kind of character is from the Shadow War series (the books come after the movie Willow). The princess falls into this category and the books go on to show how she changes because someone cares about her enough to regulate her behavior.
ReplyDeleteFrom my experience I wished I'd had said NO more often. It does the child no harm though I learnt that a bit late in life.
ReplyDeleteYvonne.
I tutor quite a few kids whose parents NEVER seem to say no. Then, when I say no, the word is so foreign to them that they don't understand the meaning. Ugh!
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