Over the past couple of days we have discussed the negative parenting styles and I wanted to end on the good parenting style, the Authoritative parent. This type of parent is both demanding and responsive. This style is also called the assertive democratic or balanced parenting. In this parenting style it is child-centered and holds high expectations of maturity. These type of parents understand their children and look for ways to help them with their problems. They support them emotionally and help them regulate their emotions. Parents with this style have clear rules and boundaries and consequences for those rules if broken. At the same time they allow verbal give and take. The rules are established together. These type of parents are not as controlling allowing their children to explore more freely. This allows the child to mature and learn to make their own decisions.
When giving out punishments the child knows why they are being punished and what is expected. The child knows that they have broken the rule. Parents are attentive to the child's needs and instead of punishing will forgive and teach when a child falls short. This does not mean that they get away with things like we learned about the permissive parent.
Children coming from these homes generally have higher self esteems and independence. These children I do not generally work with and you don't generally see them getting into problems.
This does not mean that these children will turn out perfect they still may have many other situations that come up in their lives that will cause problems. It only means they have the support needed to get through life's challenges.
When looking at characters I think about 'Awesome' on the show Chuck. These are the characters that can make it through tough situations. In my book the MC had great parents and so when very tough things come up for him he is able to go back to his memories of his parents and make it through them. Characters will have an inner strength that gets them through dark times if they had parents with this parenting style.
So now that we know all about parenting styles how are you going to use it in your books?
I'll definitely be thinking about the different parenting styles when it comes to character backstory and family history, and what might have influenced them as a child--whether they're still living with their parents or as adults.
ReplyDeleteThis was a great series!
These were great insights for character building Josh. Thanks for sharing them.
ReplyDelete........dhole
nice...you are right they wont work out all the time...but balance is needed between authority and relationship with your kids...
ReplyDeleteI love Awesome - he's so... well you know.
ReplyDeleteI think I can handle any problem my children might have. I just need some colouring pencils, scissors and lots of sticky tape. So happy to see you on google plus! It was a good reminder for me to visit your blog - now I'm going back to see the negative parenting styles and judge myself (darn it, I knew I should always carry bandaids in my handbag and not have all night Harry Potter moviefests with the kids!) Great post Josh :)
Wagging Tales - Blog for Writers
This is a really relevant post ... it's pretty easy to create a character (well, usually ;-)), but taking the time to figure out how his or her parents molded him or her ... fascinating to think about :-)
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing the parenting styles! Sorry I didn't comment more, I haven't been in the blogging scene much in the last little bit. But I love this style, I hope I will do well in this area, especially when my little girl starts to get a little older and will need a more direct sort of parenting and disciplining. It is amazing to me how effectual parents can be on their children's lives! Thanks again for sharing the styles- It was a nice refresher to go back and re-read these things I learned aobut in my classes!
ReplyDelete-Whitney
I love Awesome!! He's the best! I feel like I mostly fall into this category as a parent. Hopefully my kids agree. I agree that in order to make a believable and well rounded character, we need to fully understand how they can get to where they are.
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